Bored Rantings

I am in desperate need of a hobby. I am busy with the kids during the day, but in the evenings, all I have to do is facebook and hotmail. It is terribley unrewarding and ever so boring. Somehow, I still end up staying up until an ungodly hour. Then the children get up at an even more ungoldy hour and Jen won't hear of my getting up with them so she can sleep, even though she is due to have a baby any day now. I was going to go to the library tomorrow to take the kids to story hour, while Jen is at her appointment. However, one of them is sick and I think the outing in now cancelled. Dommage to the max! I was hoping to get a book. I need something to do. If I go upstairs, it will be me idling awkwardly while Job makes phone calls to clients or employees or whomever. He has a remarkably loud talking voice, and I now understand where his namesake gets it from.

My writing is terrible. Sometimes, I write or think something, and think that it sounds interesting, catchy, or pretty. But recently it has been awful.

I have always wanted to be beautiful. Ever since I was little, this has been a fanstasy of mine. I wanted to be one of those people who would be described as "you know, the one who's really pretty" or something along those lines. I have always thought it would be wonderful to be enchanting to people, to have people be mesmerized and facinated by me, for something I couldn't even help. I would love to be able to wear the ugliest clothes in the world and still look stunning. I would love to possess the ability to do all the stupid, clumsy things that exist, and get away with them, simply because I was pretty. Wouldn't it be fun to have every guy you meet be in love with you just because of how you look?
But then there are people who aren't so beautiful, but their charm makes up for it. Those who can talk and joke their way through things, or flatter their way through. I know a lot of those people.
I am neither beautiful nor charming, so I wonder what is left for me. I am blonde, but that is a weak card and is fading as I get older. I guess it is not important to be able to put a spell on people. Sigh.

If I ever have sons, their names will be Aurelius, Camillus, Marcellus, Silvanus etc, depending on how many I have. It's terribly mean isn't it? I love them all though.